Tale Of The Broken Bookworm
by monkeywahl
Summary: Maka Albarn was nothing special. She got bluntly denied and her best friend betrayed her. Will she have a happy ending like we all should? Short chapters, a quick read I suppose. Slight OOC. SoMa fluff . *Triggering content such as self-harm & of that nature inside-* Rated T for language & content.
1. Chapter 1

**Dis****claimer: I do not own Soul Eater.**

**A/N: Triggering and rated T for: inferences of self-harm and possible disturbing content in later chapters. Also, cursing. Please review! These chapters are going to be short, and some characters are OOC. The "partnership" in here isn't really Soul being a scythe~ I decided to finish this story before I posted it–**

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**CHAPTER ONE: THE BEGINNING **

It all started with a razor, mixed feelings, and a decision that would alter the next four years of my life. My name is Maka Albarn. I am currently 19 years old, and I'm ready to tell my tale of being stuck in my own personal hell for those painful four years.

Soul Evans and I had an apartment together since we were 13 years old. Considering we were partners, we weren't allowed to get sexually involved with each-other. But, that didn't mean feelings couldn't sprout. I remember the first time I told him I loved him, I was 14 and he was 15. That was the day I fucked up our friendship, and my adolescent years. I can recall how things we four years ago like it was last week.

We were at a local park, where we normally smoked cigarettes in the summer. I took a puff and said the words I'd come to regret: "Soul, I need to get this off my chest. I love yo-" Soul sharply cut me off midsentence. "Maka. Stop. We're partners and that's all. I'm sorry but I could never love you." I dropped my cigarette out of shock, almost burning my foot. I remember running home and locking myself in my room, balling my eyes out. For what felt like a lifetime later, I heard him come home and slam his door to his room. My partner… no- my _best friend_ broke my heart. And the worst part about all of that was that we had to live under the same roof until we were 18.

I tried getting over my feelings for him, I really did. I knew there would never be a chance between us. I mean, who would ever want to date a flat-chested bookworm? I wasn't anything _special_.

I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day back then, mainly because of the stress of being a straight A student. Smoking discouraged a majority of boys from interacting with me. Soul on the other hand had girlfriends every other week. The only boys that were truly my friends were Soul, Black Star, and Kid. Well, not really Soul after what happened.

I couldn't work at 14, but since Soul was 15, he had a job. His job was the main income aside from the money my father sent in for me every few weeks. It's surprising how fast you have to mature, and how much more responsible you have to be when you enroll in the DWMA.

I spent my money on mostly household items. After spending my money on our apartment, I didn't have enough money to buy myself cigarettes every week. I remember when I would ask Soul to buy me another pack of cigarettes, he would get so angry. He would always say, "What the fuck, Maka?! Do you know how black your lungs will be if you keep this shit up?" He was such a hypocrite for saying that; he smoked almost as much as I did.

The only times we would talk were at dinner, if I was asking for smokes, or training. It was awkward, like things weren't the same; and I knew they would never be again. I beat myself up for a long time over how things could have gone differently.

Once I realized how much I had caused Soul to spend on me each week, I quit smoking and switched to self-harm. I had a few razors, a pin, and a lighter; cheaper and more effective. Best decision someone could make, right?

Wrong. It was the worst mistake of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the follows and what not guys~**

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**CHAPTER TWO: THE DOWNFALL**

I remember the first _slice, puncture, and burn. _Let me tell you, it hurt like hell. But, as I continued harming myself, I got used to it. I loved it. I loved it more than Soul. Whenever I got upset or angry, I locked myself in my room or bathroom and cut. I was distracted for the time being as I stared off into nothingness as blood trickled down my arm. I ruined so many white shirts from being careless while cutting. As smart as I am, I never thought about the placement of my cuts.

By the time my 17th birthday came around, my wrists and arms were covered in white and pink scars.

I remember Soul glancing at my wrists whenever I would do the dishes. There was one day where I reopened one of my cuts while cleaning in the kitchen; blood started to drip down my hand and Soul saw. I remember him grabbing my wrist and me yelping out in pain. He asked me why I was bleeding and I pulled away and ran to the bathroom. I forgot to lock the door, and Soul stormed in when I was in the middle of bandaging up my wrist. I will never forget the look of absolute disgust he gave me that day when he saw my scars and cuts. He then said, "you are the most fucked up person I've ever met," and turned to go back into the living room with his girlfriend. She was such a tramp, I didn't know what he saw in her. He doesn't even act affectionate when he's around her. When I was finished wrapping my wrist, I went to my room and locked the door behind me.

I remember bursting into tears and bringing out my sharpest blade. I pressed as hard as I dared and dragged it across the middle of my wrist. I couldn't believe how calm I felt, splitting my skin like that. I did it over and over again, cursing myself for being so **fucked up. **When I was finished, there was so much blood. The entire underside of my arm was mutilated.

The next few months of school were hell for me. Soul told _everyone _about my cuts. Black Star, Kid, and Patty stopped talking to me. Tsubaki and Liz were the only real friends I had left. They accepted me for what I did.

The torment didn't stop. I would get strange glances from people I didn't even know walking down the hallway, and people would make slitting motions as I walked by. This went on for months. I would get anonymous texts and emails telling me to kill myself, and to cut some more. I never understood what was going through those kids' minds when they acted the way they did.

Soul eventually stopped talking to me completely. I think he was embarrassed of even being seen with me. I was done. I wanted to give up. I lost my best friends. I lost trust in those I loved. What did I have to live for? I was falling victim to my own mind. I stopped leaving the house for anything other than school or training. **(A/N: Training here is more like hand-to-hand combat.) **I eventually diagnosed myself with severe depression; the online surveys helped too. I lost weight while gaining extreme self-hate. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, I was that disgusted. I lost interest in things I loved to do, even reading. Living in hell and putting up with brief interactions with the cold-hearted assholes of the world is what I did daily.

The strangest part about all of that was that I would hear Soul stop outside of my door every so often before he would go to bed. I mentally questioned his curiosity or if he actually cared what I was doing.

Little did I know, what I was about to do next would leave me questioning the decision that could have prevented any chance I had at reform.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm really bad at having cliffhangers at the end of each chapter, heh. Oops. **

**Geez, if I owned Soul Eater.. Lemme tell ya.**

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**CHAPTER THREE: HEAVEN OR HELL?**

Before going into the bathroom, I wrote my suicide note. I cried while writing it of course, knowing it was the last decision I would make.

T_o whomever is reading this,_

_By the time you read this, I will be gone. I wouldn't advise you to try to save me; I'm not worth your time. Throughout these pathetic years, I have begun to realize that I'm not worthy of the air I breathe, or the space I take. One person can only take so much torment, and pain in one lifetime. I'm simply at my end. I do not want to deal with the hatred I get; but I guess I deserve all of it anyways._

_Soul. I loved you. I loved you so much. You were my best friend. I bled for you, I'd die for you. I didn't mean to ruin our friendship. I just hope you know I can forgive you for what you've done, but I can't forgive myself. I know you'll do fine without me; you've done so well this far with me barely in the picture. I know you'll find another partner, hopefully one stronger than me._

_Tsubaki and Liz. You guys were all I had. I know you tried to help me, but it wasn't enough. It couldn't be a one-sided thing. I know you'll be better off without me around, I hated being such a burden on you both. There's a point of no return, and I hit it. I'm sorry; please don't blame yourselves._

_Dad. I want to thank you so much for all you've done. You've done everything you ever could. I'm sorry to be leaving like mom did._

_Black Star, Patty, and Kid. Why? Why did you have to leave me? Black Star, I loved you like a brother. Patty, you were like my little sister. Kid, you always kept things interesting. I lost everything that kept me in one piece. You all were my stitching, and now I'm left barely together._

_I trusted every single one of you. In the end, I could only truly rely on myself. A few of you could have saved me, but the truth is, I didn't want to be saved. My thoughts ran wild in the darkness of night, and my wrists helped silent them._

_So this is goodbye._

_Maka._

Everything that happened that night is so clear, it's scary.

The weather was really bad out. Soul had stayed over Black Stars house with Tsubaki because he couldn't get home due to the conditions. I knew that it was my chance.

I remember getting into the bath and cutting up my wrists; thinking it'd be the last time I'd be able to feel bliss. The water was red by the time I was done. I then downed two bottles of sleeping pills. I remember smiling as tears streamed down my face as I looked around, seeing my note sitting on the sink counter and my gashed arms. My vision was becoming hazy and my hearing was fading, when I heard my front door open.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater or the characters, so so.. Unfortunate. **

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**CHAPTER FOUR: ON THE CORRECT ROAD**

The next thing I knew, I was awake in Stein's office, mentally _screaming_ at myself for failing. I heard Nygus tell someone I was waking up. I looked to my right to see Soul sitting in a chair next to my bed with his hands in his hair. I could tell he had been crying, too.

Nygus later had told me that my father came in to drop off money when he noticed I didn't respond to him calling me. That's when he went to investigate my apartment.

I didn't speak or eat much for days. By that time, I believe I was around 80 pounds, which was very unhealthy for a junior in highschool. I was literally in shock, and I couldn't stop replaying every moment leading up to that point.

I think it was about a week after my failed suicide attempt Tsubaki and Liz came to visit me. My father never left my side, unfortunately. He couldn't stop crying and telling me how "Papa loves you." I remember being too ashamed to look any of them in the eye. I can't recall what was exactly said, but I know Soul was angry. I think he was angry because I tried to leave him.

_But why did he care? He never cared about me before._

That is where I was so wrong.

Soon after being released from suicide watch, I was allowed to go home. Soul started talking to me again immediately after settling down again. I was so happy that he at least made small talk. My dad made attempts at stopping in every day, but Soul refused to let him inside.

Maybe around 4 days after the incident, Soul came into my room to talk to me. I remember clutching my pillow and facing away from Soul.

He explained to me that he was being blackmailed by the girlfriend he had at the time. Her name was Eruka Frog; she was _very_ talented in manipulating people. She found out about his dark past. Stuff that _I _didn't have a clue about, and we were partners for years. Eruka told him that if he didn't destroy our friendship, she would tell everyone about his past.

Soul said he cried himself to sleep almost every night, regretting the path he chose. All those nights he stood outside my door for a few moments, he was thinking whether to walk in or not and clear things up.

He explained the night he told me I was fucked up, Eruka had told him exactly what to say and do; she was the one to point out my wrist. And if he didn't, she would tell everyone about what his family did to him. Eruka and her friend Mizune told everybody about my cutting, not him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Eruka told Soul that she wanted me dead. I remember mumbling_ 'her wish almost came_ _true' _and Soul glaring at me. She also made threats against his close friends~ saying that if he didn't stop being my friend, she would have "people" harm them. We both came to the conclusion that she was jealous of our partnership, and that she wanted Soul all to herself. She was truly crazy.

He then went on to say how sorry he was, and that he always cared about me more than anything. That he hated himself for what he let me go through. I remember crying, and Soul holding me in his arms. He was actually crying too. I wasn't prepared for what he told me next: Eruka got killed while on a mission with Medusa about a week after I tried to commit suicide. And that meant Soul's secrets were safe once again. He couldn't stop apologizing to me, and I soon forgave him. When he was getting up to leave my room, he stopped and kissed me on the cheek. He said "Maka, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Never try to leave me again, okay?" and walked out. Nothing in the past mattered at that moment, I knew things were going to get better if Soul stuck by my side.

Soon after, I started going to Miss. Marie for counseling two times a week after school. I was making amazing progress. My friends were talking to me again, after telling me Eruka also told them lies about me. All of my razors, pins, and lighters were thrown away within two months of counseling/senior year. I didn't get teased anymore, and more guys started to approach me. Soul and Tsubaki were the main reason I recovered so quickly. Soul was always by my side, helping me if I got urges. Tsubaki made sure I knew she was only a phone call away. I got better because I wanted to be healthy for them.

Before I knew it, senior year was over and we were graduating. I, of course, was at the top of my class. I remember going to dinner with Soul, Tsubaki, Black Star, Liz, Patty, and Kid a few days after graduating. We all toasted to moving on with our lives and for me to find happiness once again. With that, Soul spoke up and said "She already has. Maka, I didn't love you more than a friend years ago. I've watched you grow into such a beautiful person, and I apologize again for being absent when you needed me the most. But if you say yes, it would be so cool, and I promise to never abandon you. Will you be my girlfriend?" Everybody "aww-ed," I agreed and planted my lips on Soul's. Soul was, and is, in fact, my true source of happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I might as well just finish it up here. ((I know I didn't include it in the last chapter but- Maka did eventually gain the weight back))**

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**CHAPTER FIVE: MY NEW BEGINNING**

Soul Evans and I have been dating for over a year now. I am 19 years old, and he is 20. We currently have an apartment together far away from the DWMA and I got accepted into the college of my dreams. Black Star and Soul meet to play a game of basketball every few weeks. As for Liz, Patty, and Kid - they moved away from Death City shortly after graduation. Liz constantly calls me and informs me about their new life. Black Star rather calmly asked Tsubaki on a date not too long ago, and they are now dating. Tsubaki and I go to lunch or dinner whenever we can.

As for what happened to Mizune... I don't know. Maybe she has finally matured over these past few years.

I no longer have urges, or even think about it. I'm confident enough now to wear short sleeves when I leave the house; Soul is always reassuring me that it's okay. The scars haven't really faded, but I look at them as a learning experience. I stopped dwelling in the past and now I'm only looking forward. The scars may never fade, but the terrible memories will be replaced with good ones. I know I have a good life ahead of me, and I'm thankful that my father found me that stormy day. Speaking of which, my papa has found a nice lady to settle down with. She will never be good as my mother, but she's a keeper. Soul never told me what happened in his past, but frankly. It doesn't matter.

Yes, my mother has been informed of those four years. She still keeps in touch quite often now, more than she ever has.

Looking back at my highschool years, I can easily say that it was absolute hell, but only because I allowed it to be. I never opened my eyes to see how things truly were. I was outcasted by my own friends due to some girl who was obsessed with my partner. I realize how foolish I was back then. I'm also kicking myself in the ass now because since I smoked a lot when I was young, I can barely run for a long period of time without breathing like I ran a marathon.

This journey has been one hell of a ride. I can't wait to spend the rest of it with the one I love, and doing the things I enjoy.

Tsubaki and Black Star just came to take Soul and I out to dinner, so I guess my story is closed for now. Thanks for listening.

**A/N: Yay, happy ending! I apologize for the last chapter being so short. Welp, I hoped you liked it! Please send me reviews on what you liked/disliked about this story~ I was aiming for an inspirational piece- Did it work?**

**Thanks for reading.**


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